madamethursday: definatalie’s bits: madamethursday: [Image removed as it is clear that it was...

madamethursday:

definatalie’s bits: madamethursday: [Image removed as it is clear that it was taken…

virtutethecat:

madamethursday:

[Image removed as it is clear that it was taken without knowledge or consent of the subject. Image depicted a beautiful, fat very light skinned person sitting down at a table with pizza in front of them, eating.]

sugaredvenom:

pixyled:

blackenedbutterfly:

Everyone reblogging this and freaking out needs to go read his apology. I think it’s really cool of him to publicly apologize and realize how wrong he was.

Umm, no. I read that apology and frankly wasn’t impressed or all that reassured that the OP gets why it was wrong and won’t do similar shit again in the future. I wasn’t impressed with someone feeling sorry that they’re going to be judged for acting like a callous, soulless fuckface.

Nor was I impressed with the WTFery in this statement:

Shit goes on in the world, and I’ve proven to myself that it’s always going to be about in some way or form and I don’t think it’ll ever stop. As the human race progresses more things will have the piss taken out of them and I don’t think it’ll ever end.

Excuse me? So the OP blathers on about I don’t even know what. Literally, I don’t know what the fuck is going on in that paragraph - and that’s it? I’m supposed to not be mad anymore because this person did something that has been a real fear for me?

I’m a big fat woman. I fear eating in public. Literally. I fear ordering what I really want to eat if I go out. I fear what will be thought of me if I finish every bite on my plate. I fear ordering the wrong thing. At times, I’ve ordered food I didn’t even like because it was a salad or full of vegetables or a more “virtuous” food. 

I constantly look around at everyone around me, afraid they’re gossiping about me, afraid they’re going to post my picture like this OP did. 

And the thing is? I’m not paranoid. This OP just proved that it is a REASONABLE AND JUSTIFIABLE FUCKING FEAR TO HAVE if you’re a fatty in public. 

So please don’t come to me explaining or saying that I’m obligated not to talk about why this is wrong or not to show exactly how furious I am because someone on the internet just made it that much harder for me, psychologically and socially, to do something as simple as eat a meal outside my own home. 

I’d be a lot happier if the OP actually said, “I did this out of prejudice and bigotry against fat people” or “I did this because I saw a vulnerable, marginalized person and felt superior and that was wrong and I understand now why that was wrong”. I’d be more inclined to forgiveness if the OP actually did more than feel bad about being judged. Because fuck yes, you SHOULD be judged on your actions. You SHOULD be judged on the harm you cause to others, especially the harm you cause knowingly, individually, and willfully. It’s one thing to talk about systemic problems and privilege, but when an individual goes out of their way to be that viciously hateful, to so fully and completely show how unhuman they view another REAL LIVE HUMAN PERSON to be?

That’s something you really DO need to judge others on. That’s something that tells you that this is a person who can’t be trusted. A person who obviously doesn’t get that it is more than just something they wouldn’t want done to them, more than just being judged. 

This person still hasn’t acknowledged the vile and unreal amount of HATE and DISREGARD that went into what they did. And until I see that, in full, fuck no. I’m not going to say, “Okay, you get my big fat forgiveness.” I reserve that for people who actually seem like they grasp the enormity of their fuck ups and are trying to change because they view me as valuable enough not to continue hurting. 

I’m sure this person does feel bad after dozens of people yelled at them, but apologizing for offending and apologizing for DOING SOMETHING WRONG are not the same. Saying that you’re sorry you offended me isn’t the same as saying “I’m sorry I did something that I know now was ACTUALLY VERY WRONG TO DO.”

If this person gets that they were wrong, that’s good. But their apology doesn’t take away my fears in public, doesn’t take away the shit that’s been done to me and people like me. Doesn’t erase the harm done to this person. 

You think this shit won’t affect the person in the picture down the road? You think a potential employer might not deny them a job because of this picture and the light of bigotry it casts on them? You think people won’t continue spreading it around maliciously. He can apologize, but I promise that shit has been saved on the hard drive of every fatwanking fat hater who wants to use it down the road as a macro, as a way to shame fat people and make others hate them all the more. 

So fuck you for telling me not to freak out. The OP feels bad? They should. Come back to me when the OP actually bothers to apologize in a way that makes me feel like they won’t do this again down the line.