Today I felt like a huge failure because I can’t afford to buy clothes in the Boxing Day sales. I feel like a failure because I can’t really afford to be a fatshion blogger when I don’t have new clothes all the time. Also because I couldn’t afford to go to NY for the YFF conference, and I was invited to another conference in the US early next year (with the promise of sponsored flights) and the organisers basically dumped the bloggers (or just me?)
I know a lot of the game is networking and talking to all the stores but that’s not me. City Chic, the biggest Australian plus size retailer, dislike/ ignore me because I’m too political and I’m honest about their garments. I’d like to be one of those bloggers who goes somewhere but I’m not willing to sell my soul to a brand to do it, nor do I have the bullshit within me to sell my readers claptrap about how to have a wondiferous life every month. No one’s gonna pay me to wander around on my high horse all year.
And look, I know whinging doesn’t really get people anywhere but that’s because our culture rewards those who project an image of success and super A+ mental health while relying on a hurtful bootstraps mentality. I can’t promise to always be happy, to post five times a week and stay on top of my shit. I can promise to be pissed off, to represent my body and I can absafuckinglutely promise to be an ethical blogger.