In my perfect world, shitty behaviour towards other people would not be defined as sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, etc.
It will simply be called “shitty behaviour”.
Sometimes you need to specifically pinpoint the problematic aspects of something someone has said or done, and to minimise specifically sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ablelist or sizeist language is kind of… making it not the big, hurtful problem it can be.
Why do you have so much of a problem with pinpointing specific problematic language or behaviour? I think it’s important that we actually have the tools to discuss oppressive actions, because otherwise… we’ll just all remain nice and polite and avoiding the topic because confrontation is messy. No oppressive power structure will ever be smashed if we are afraid of being impolite.