Image - a webcam photo of a half done drawing of a cake with drippy icing and flags stuck in the top, with crystal things in the background.
I am trying to practice pacing myself. Doing drawing for me, to explore not just to render.
I have had lots of people ask if they can commission me to draw them, and while I am drawing people who’ve submitted their photos (I might not be able to do all of them), I have decided not to take on commissioned work for the foreseeable future.
I hate saying no to people. And I hate disappointing anyone. I also know that taking on commissions would be a great way for me to earn money. But when I think about it, I have to remember to listen to my body and my mind. I can’t promise to do good work right now, I can’t even promise to do things on time. I am undergoing therapy that is pretty intense and part of it is setting boundaries and listening to my own values rather than being persuaded by people or doing things because other people want me to do them. Put simply, there’s heavy shit going on in here and I’m looking after me first.
I want drawing to be a wondrous, self-reflective, love-filled activity and not an obligation. This is why I will be drawing the things I need to draw for me, not the things other people need me to draw. I need to be authentic and I need to assert my voice.