Natalie, I've been following you for a couple years and honestly, I find it even more interesting that you're willing to share these personal pieces of your life that you find hard to deal with. I totally understand what you mean about trying to be charming and such on the internet but the fact that you're real about all the issues you have just make me think you're even more spectacular for all that you do whether it's through your various forms of lovely art or speaking out about body image. you're a really wonderful person. despite all the bullshit, all the ups and downs of your life, you are a genuinely good person.

I guess I’m in a weird place right now. Yeah… I am not having good self worth tiems in my brain and I’m feeling super self conscious about what I do and what other people see in me. I’ve blogged for a long time, mostly because it helped me when I was in truly awful circumstances and now it feels like everything I write is so public and not in line with what blogging is. There is a lot of contamination in blogging media of mainstream stuff and it makes me feel uncomfortable when people and businesses see bloggers as brands rather than a bunch of people all with very different experiences of the world. It feels like a bunch of platforms for powerful and open speech are being closed in on and I don’t know if I belong anymore.

A lot of the time I think to myself, “Who really cares about how I feel when people judge my big belly as a pregnant belly when people can go to a blog that is updated twice a day, with giveaways and shiny sponsored content?” IDK. I’m just feeling like the place I made for myself on the internet is being encroached on and I am not comfortable with it.

Thank you for your lovely words. They mean a lot.