definatalie’s bits: Honesty about being fat and poor and a blogger.
Today I felt like a huge failure because I can’t afford to buy clothes in the Boxing Day sales. I feel like a failure because I can’t really afford to be a fatshion blogger when I don’t have new clothes all the time. Also because I couldn’t afford to go to NY for the YFF conference, and I was…
yes, poor bloggers forever!! me and natalie are pretty much on the same page with this. i find it interesting that 2010 has been a good year for me blogging-wise although i’ve been unemployed since january 1st. it wasn’t until october/november that i actually started to design again and started having money coming in. i can’t lie and say that that isn’t a huge factor in my decision to not blog much anymore. also, the fact that i’m not comfortable being a marketing tool for companies to sell their mediocre wares. i was invited to the onestopplus show, did i post about it? nope, it was terrible. went to fffweek, did i post about every designer? nope, some were terrible. while true, bloggers are marketing tools to some extent, especially when they send you goods, it’s gotten to be ridiculous. my blog was never about HEY Y’ALL, LOOK AT MY SWEET BOOTS/DRESS/JACKET FROM [INSERT COMPANY HERE] and it never will be. i just wanted people to know that there are options other than torrid and lane bryant. all this extra shit? i’ll pass. fashion isn’t my life, y’all can have whatever status/perks that you think i’ve attained.
for instance, when i go to nyc, it’s to hang out and support people who i love. i know people love to network and such but that has never and will never be my thing. not being mean but don’t give me your blog biz card, don’t email me every time you update your blog, i can’t help you. i don’t have any more power than the next blogger, i promise. when judgment of paris made that ridiculous claim that us bloggers need to use our ~power to demand that companies change their marketing strategy and use bigger models, i laughed. we (or rather i) don’t have that type of power and if i did, that means that this blogging thing has gone too far.
i never want to lose my opinion as a normal consumer. i never want people to perceive as being anything but honest and myself.
i don’t even know what the real point of this rant was but whatever. i just want to be known (or unknown) as christina and not xtina from musings, if that makes sense? lol my blogging life, i can’t.
I dunno if I’m one of the bloggers you’re thinking of or not, but since I’ve done a few things you mentioned (I have Moo cards, met people at clothing companies, gotten free stuff and am in talks about possibly working for a particular brand) and I do worry about how it must look, I want to explain myself a little bit.
Seriously if I knew I could get by and have a job/income that means I could be completely independent, turn down reviews and stuff, I would. It’s just that things have been pretty terrible in my “career” the past few months since I lost my last job. I don’t really have any knowledge or skills that I can make money from, and I suck at office work - I only ever last a few months before eventually getting “let go” or I have a breakdown and leave - only after losing my latest job did I realise how much of an impact my depression/anxiety affects my work, so I’ve been looking out for different kinda things.
With blogging I really enjoy it, and apparently I am kinda good at it. People who’ve contacted me advised that I could potentially make money out of it, possibly even a career, and right now I’m willing to give ANYTHING a try, and since this is something that brings me shitloads of happiness then I am testing the waters. It might not work out, in which case I’ll try something else and I can go back to feeling a righteous outsider! :)
I am super aware that I look like I’m selling out by talking to these brands, even though I am as honest as I can be on my blog and to their faces. It’s just that because of my unemployability and lack of skills, I want to give this a go as it’s one of the few things I have a little bit of confidence in (and that others have confidence in me is a huge boost, too).
Gah this was tl;dr, sorry!
I was referring to an Australian company which gets bloggers to write on their site blog for free or clothes, and then gags them when it comes to them talking about other clothing companies on their actual blogs. I don’t know if that’s the case for you, but I couldn’t do that. And I really was just speaking for myself and on reflection “selling your soul” might be a bit of directing my frustration at bloggers instead of directing it at the companies who take advantage of them. So I really must apologise for that, because yannow, I totally get the “unemployability” thing (I was just totally hating myself for my own unemployability yesterday) and if you are happy with your affiliations then more power to you!
I guess a lot of my upsetness is about my own issues with actually getting anywhere, sometimes I feel way too brusque and honest and I don’t think that any company would align themselves with me because I am known for being political and opinionated. I just wish I could make money from that because it seems to be what I’m good at. Our culture doesn’t want people to benefit from agitating the status quo. I’m having a hard time feeling like this world wants me to thrive in it.
ETA: The whole thing about plus size clothing companies not wanting to align themselves with me really fucking hit home when Lane Bryant said my fat activism art was “unnecessary”. They are scared of fat activism, that’s why they stick to safe words for fatness like “curvy” or “voluptuous” because most fat people probably feel that “fat” is a pejorative and that their own fatness is shameful or temporary.