** Fat experiences are complicated and vary from fatty to fatty. The following are some personal guidelines on how people can opt out of fat hate and challenge the exoticization of fat bodies. This list is incomplete, won’t be the same for everyone, and was written by and hastily reflects the experiences of that fat bitch, Majestic Legay.
1) Don’t objectify me, or other fat people. Don’t reduce us to our fat bodies or talk to me about how you have fantasies about or would like to fuck fat people as a way to show me that you are ‘down with fatties’. When you fetishize fat bodies, it makes you look skeezy. I would rather die than fuck someone who talks about my fat body like I should be grateful they would fuck it. Barf. Believe me, there are hot-queers-a-plenty chomping at the bit to get with this.
2) Don’t stick up for people who are fatphobic, or make excuses for them. This just reinforces their unchecked privilege. And yours.
3) Call people out on their fatphobia. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude, it can be as simple as a gentle correction. When friends or community members let fatphobia go unchallenged, not only does it reinforce the shit out of your collective privilege but it makes me feel super betrayed.
4) I don’t conflate fat with disgusting, lazy, or ugly, so neither should you. We both know how sexy I am.
5) 1, 2, 3, 4, check your self-hate at the door. I acknowledge that everyone has a hard time with their bodies, but please save that toxicity for some other self-hating individual thank-you-very-much. I don’t want to hear about how you got “fat” over Christmas or how you have to buy a gym membership because of how “disgusting” all of the food you ate made you. When you say those things, you are reinforcing a cruel, body hating culture that makes millions (billions?) of dollars every year off of people who hate themselves. I don’t want to hear it because I spend my energy rejecting this culture, and fighting for a culture where all bodies are loved, affirmed and valued regardless of how fat, queer, or socially unacceptable they are.
6) Think twice before you uncritically discuss things like “morbid obesity” or the Body Mass Index (BMI). Western medicine is an inadequate in its ability to evaluate my health, or understand the complexity of my fat experience. I refuse to let you, or a problematic system talk about my body in regulatory ways that deny me agency. Also, when you leave the medicalization of fat bodies unquestioned, you ignore the fact that western medicine is white, heterosexist, and largely does not serve the needs of queer, fat, racialized, or poor communities ETC.
7) Calling people things like “skinny bitch” or saying that you think “skinny people are ugly” still reinforces a culture that wins when we hate our bodies or the bodies of others. If you aren’t getting it at this point, you’re a lost cause.
8) There are more, but I am too pissy to continue. If you need me I am in your subconscious being fabulous, eating my feelings, and giving you the strength to talk back.
Learning how to support people who face discrimination for reasons you don’t personally experience is a hard, ongoing process. Facing your privilege can be scary, but it’s important, so make it happen. We all make mistakes - let’s just get some accountability flowing.
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twistedmusings: FAT SOLIDARITY: THE BASICS innerfatgirl: ** Fat experiences are complicated and...
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