Thinking about working on a new series of drawings that delve more into the confessional side of what I do and what I think about. It’s hard for me to say what I do as an artist or what medium I work in because I’m starting to feel like my drawing kind of works in tandem with what I write on my blog, or here, or on twitter.
I want to admit some things about myself, my upbringing, my conditioning. I want to own my privilege and unpick the things I’ve been taught to believe, to protect. As a fat activist I encourage people to question the cultural messages they recieve and internalise and pass on, but they’re not just cultural messages about body size or femininity, they’re also messages about ability and race and sexuality and class and gender too. Everything fits together, nothing is isolated.
I want to expose how a privileged person’s first reaction is defence. How protecting privilege is a fucked up game that doesn’t help anyone and directs attention away from the real truth, the real marginalisation and how it hurts human beings. I want to expose myself as a human being with deeply judgemental, even bigoted thoughts and assumptions. I want to unpick, and I want to show that unpicking is not about losing anything like so many people fear. Being critical is not negative, it’s awareness of culture and self.
I don’t know how I will put this to work though. The first thing I want to write is “I am a bigot” but I worry the reaction from people will only be to reassure me that I am not and that’s not what it’s about. But I guess even that reaction starts a conversation.