(1) That all depressed people are ‘emo’ and sit around smoking, drinking, and listening to Fall Out Boy
(2) That the depressed could be happy if they chose to be happier, if they worked harder to feel better. In other words, that depression is not a disease but a chosen state of existence.
(3) That depression, as a mental illness, is the same as feeling sad over breaking up with a boyfriend, getting a bad grade, having a fight with a friend, etc. It is NOT the same emotion.
(4) That depression is just an excuse to feel bad and be lazy. That if you tried harder you wouldn’t stay in bed, cry constantly, lack the energy to shower, etc. That people use depression to do these things without being balmed —- guess what, we get blamed and judged anyway.
(5) That depression is just a way to get attention. That the depressive uses their emotions to ‘manipulate’ people into doing things for them. In other words, a chosen state of helplessness to get others to do our biding.
THIS
^^^ THIS. ^^^
Depression isn’t just being sad. It’s an all-encompassing feeling of just being deflated, tired, worthless. Everything seems flat and dull, and words are hollow. There’s no motivation, no point to anything—and that includes “getting attention” or “manipulating people”. Those feelings are there against your will, those thoughts seem to spontaneously crop up in your mind, and you just can’t seem to get out of it.
You may be able to point at things in your life that make it worse, or you may not—it depends on the individual. You might be capable of coherence and explanations—or you might just be at a loss for words. You may function okay in some areas of your life, but not so much in others—or you might just bedridden. You might seem better some days than on others. You may or not be suicidal. You may or may not need medication— some people it helps, others it doesn’t. Same with other kinds of therapy. There may or may not be some self-fulfilling prophecies involved: You feel like people hate you, so it’s hard for you to be around people, so people stop hanging out with you, and you feel more alone. Or, maybe you had no friends or family to rely on to begin with. Maybe it’s ‘all in your head’, maybe it’s not; maybe it’s biological, maybe it’s environmental, maybe (probably) it’s a combination of both. Either way, it’s something to be taken seriously.
Everyone is different. But it’s not your job to decide whether a person “really”/”actually” has depression, or “is just faking it”. It’s not as simple as just “snapping out of it”, there’s really no quick fix, and you should never look at a person who’s clinically depressed and say “just get over it”, “it’s your fault”, “you’re just being lazy”. That doesn’t help at all. Constructive, empathetic encouragement is one thing; berating someone because they’re mentally ill or in a bad place at a given point in in their life is entirely different, and it’s important to know the difference. Feeling as though people don’t take you seriously only makes it worse. It will make the person feel even more alone. And if they’re suicidal, that’s some dangerous shit. So don’t do it. If you’re frustrated with a person who has depression—because yes, it can be stressful on friends and family, I won’t deny that—take a moment to breathe. Try not to say something that you’ll regret.
tl;dr: Stigma sucks. /rant
My dad still doesn’t understand points 2 and 4. It’s frustrating and I CBFed trying to get him to understand.