I understand that discussion of mental illness is scary for some people and that the natural reaction for some people is to point those who are mentally ill in the direction of someone who can help them. I understand that wishing to speak to people often puts them in uncomfortable positions where they feel a) either overextended and stuck between a rock and a hard place or b) powerless, with no real ability to help. However, being told to go get therapy, or to seek help, is not realistic for some people who suffer from mental illness and when they turn to less accepted forms of therapy, such as writing or speaking about their problems, they should not be told to abandon these forms of therapy in order to go sit in a therapist’s chair. Here is why I believe dismissing talk about mental illness with a ‘seek help’ or ‘go to therapy’ denies mentally ill people the right to decide their own forms of treatment, if any, for their illness.
1. It assumes that all mentally ill people have the money to spend in therapy. Even though I could get treatment at my school’s health clinic for a discounted price, it would still be more than I could pay. For people whose illnesses leave them without steady income, therapy may be something they would like to access but it is denied them.
2. It assumes that what I am currently doing, whether it be writing or speaking, is not helpful or beneficial to me. When I write about my mental illness or my suicide attempts, it acts as a form of therapy to me. To blog about mental illness and then be told I think you need therapy negates the fact that not all mentally ill people receive the same benefits from the same kinds of therapy and negates the fact that my words are my therapy. Once again there is this view of the mentally ill that turns us all into a mass that needs to be medicated, needs to be in stereotypical therapy, needs to be locked away, etc. I am not saying that medication and therapy are not beneficial to some and not dismissing the positive effects they can have in someone’s life. What I am saying is that psychological therapy, with a therapist in a doctor’s office is not the end-all be-all cure-all for everyone with a mental illness.
Which I can assure you is true. I suffer from an inability to open up to people, to trust people or put my faith in them. I have a very hard time speaking to people about my emotional state and I can barely connect with people emotionally unless I have a long history of trust and respect with them. My illness, combined with my past history, ensures that being in a clinical environment with a doctor/patient relationship already established between me and my therapist will never fully benefit me like it will some others. And so when someone tells me to seek help, it dismisses my particular needs and desires. When I write to an unspecified audience, when I write to no one in particular, that is my particular form of therapy and should not be denied.
And being told to seek help? What if that’s exactly what I’m doing by talking, by writing these posts, by blogging about life with mental illness, by sharing stories of this life?
I understand that people may not feel equipped to help others with their mental illnesses and I can understand why they would then want to refer to someone they believed could address the problem. But I should also have the right to decide what form of treatment I will give myself, because I alone know if traditional methods of treating mental illness will work for me. Thus, if I write something about my illness or talk about it in a public space, I don’t want to be silenced. I don’t want to be told that this is not valid. I want to use all the tools at my disposal to ensure a positive life.
Yes, absolutely. I am considering professional help of some kind, just to see if it works, but reading things like this and knowing people like you and others are out there already helps immensely.
Thank you. THANK YOU. This is such a timely piece of writing because on my proper blog I wrote yesterday about struggling with depression and how the culture of positivity as manifested in the bloggersphere isn’t a healthy thing for all of us, and even though I explicitly stated I wasn’t after suggestions or solutions or advice people STILL insisted. Some even emailed me personally. I appreciate that people care but it hurt me a lot that someone could read the words that I was so apprehensive of publishing and yet not quite understand what I was writing about.
It was just like… why would I even fucking bother reaching out for help if you’re just going to put your own personal health agenda on me? This is why I don’t speak publicly about my mental health very often.