Am I transformed?
No – but I am reminded. Reminded my fat must only be temporary. In the pants, I am suspended animation.
The pants clothe an “in-between” space in a process of body normalization.
So, on my way to becoming thin, I can at least try to ‘pass-as-thin’, bound up in elastane and reinforced lycra.
Grunting with exasperation and impatience, I try to find a way of peeling the stubborn elastic away from my flesh. I ease my thumbs into the unyielding waistband, and bit by bit, struggle to inch my other fingers in as well, worming them down, trying to separate my fat from the elastic. My hands literally shake with the strain of trying to force the lycra away from my body, then painfully down over my hips. The pants, having gathered downward momentum, suddenly roll down over my belly to form a torturously tight rope-like elastic band.
I let out a lengthy sigh. I have to take a break. I am puffing and beads of perspiration glisten on my upper lip and at my hairline from this supreme effort.
I am a stuck pig.
Written by Sam Murray and performed at Bodies Abound, 10 September 2010
Please read the whole piece, it’s amazing.